Fading Too Soon
by Angeebaby
Summary: Bella, Rosalie and Alice are sick of the way their boyfriends treat them. When something happens one night at a party, it sends them over the edge and they finally break up with them. A story about growing up and finding yourself.AU human,canon eventually
1. Cut up angels

This will be a multi- chapter fic, believe me I'm just getting started =}

**I own nothing!**

I woke to the constant beeping of my phone. I knew he wasn't going to be able to let this go. I just didn't understand why.

I opened my phone to reveal twenty two text messages, twelve voice mails, and thirty five missed calls. _Good lord, he must have been awake all night trying to get a hold of me. _I almost felt sorry for him...almost.

I lay in bed listening to the soft rain patter against my window. I knew i had to get up, i had tests to get through head hurt just thinking about the extra energy i would have to use to try and concentrate today in would almost impossible to not think about last nights events.

I got up from my warm bed quicker than i intended. The dull ache between my thighs caused me to sit back down. I noticed the blood seeping through the jeans i still wore from last night. I remember not bothering to change when i came home before crashing down on my bed in a fit of sobs.

How could you love someone so much, but hate him with everything you have, at the same time?

_Hate? i hate him? Last night was my fault as well. right? I initiated it.._

_NO! no no no. Bella Swan, you will not be that girl any longer! _

I almost laughed at the argument taking place inside my head. I got up to face the mirror above my desk.

"When did you become so crazy?" i asked myself, even though i knew the answer.

Since Edward Cullen.

A small part of me knew that wasn't entirely true. He wasn't always such an asshole. Even now, he was sweet and thoughtful, passionate and romantic... when his friends weren't around.

I let a few more tears escape my swollen eyes before brushing them away. I stood up straighter and looked at reflection again. _God, i look awful._ My long wavy hair was stuck to my face in some places, and a static mess in others. Last nights mascara, that Alice forced on me, was now in deep smudges under my eyes. My eye's were almost swollen shut from the crying all night, and i had nice little red blotches across my face.I can honestly say its the worst I've ever looked.

The pain i felt was far worse than my appearance, and i was reminded of it yet again when my phone went off.

I didn't even bother looking at the caller I.D. as i gathered my toiletries and headed for the shower. School didn't start for another 3 hours. I contemplated going back to sleep, but i knew i wouldn't be able too.

I had to figure out how i was going to survive the day anyway.

I stayed in shower until the hot water ran out. Hot water always calmed my nerves down a bit. I dried off and brushed my teeth. I looked a little better, no more red blotches, and my hair was tons i was putting on my favorite dark blue skinny jeans i heard the doorbell ring. I froze. He wouldn't?! i silently asked myself.

I walked down stairs to check the peep hole, i just wouldn't open the door if it was him. I thanked the gods above when i saw Alice and Rosalie standing on my front porch, both holding bags in their hand, and both wearing the same swollen eye's i was sporting. I was instantly worried and hurried to open the door.

"Whats wrong guys? why are you hear so early? did something happen?" i asked without taking a breath.

Rose gave me a sad smile "we figured you needed to talk Bells"

Alice looked up at me with tears forming in her eyes " I think we all need to talk" her voice cracked as she and Rose walked through the door.

I didn't know what was going on with my two best friends, i knew they had no idea what happened last night. I left the party without saying goodbye to anyone.,except Edward. I knew their reasons for coming here so early were for different reasons. They both looked to sad and torn apart, so i grabbed them both for a tight hug. We all broke down and started sobbing with our arms wrapped around each other. I loved my best friends more than anything.

Charlie came down the stairs and stopped in his tracks when he saw us. I felt bad for putting him in such an awkward situation. He's never been comfortable around female's. He was shy and uncomfortable, and not a man of many words. We were a lot alike, Charlie and i. He loves Rose and Ali like daughters, but had no idea what to do in this sort of situation. I knew he was wishing my mother was here, he probably thought we all started our periods or something.

I broke from our embrace long enough to speak a few words to Charlie.

"Were fine dad. Just having a girl moment. Have a good day at work" i said before grabbing my best friends hands, and leading them quickly to my room.

"Uh..OK Bells, have a good day at school. You too, Ali and Rose." he called up to us before letting out a sigh of relief. I heard him open and shut the front door a few moments later.

Rose sat down slowly on my bed, while Alice down on my desk chair. I sat on the edge of my bed, facing them. I looked over at them, and they both looked down at their hands. I could tell they were trying not to break down again. I knew that feeling.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say, i knew something was wrong, so i put my own feeling aside and focused on them.

" Whats going on guys? You both look as terrible as i do.." i looked at them again. My usually breath taking best friends looked so unnatural to me. Rose's beautiful long blond hair was in some sort of bun, all tangles and mess. Her usual perfect makeup was smeared, and instead of some beautiful designer outfit, she wore i have never once, in our four years of friendship, seen her wear. Alice looked worse. Her spike jet black shiny hair was flat and tangled around her small face, no makeup, and wore a big sweat shirt and plain black leggings.

My hear broke for them. I hated to see them in such disarray.I tried to begin my questioning again, but Alice started sobbing again.

"We know wha..what Edward did Bella!" i winced at Edwards name, the pain flooding my heart again. I looked down at my hands to try and keep from crying.

"How did you know?" i whispered. Rose came over and put her arm around me.

She sighed before going on. "We overheard Edward talking to Jasper and Emmett. They didn't know we were listening. We only heard that you caught him kissing Tanya...a few minutes after you two had sex" I heard Alice walk over and sit in front of me.

She held my hands as she said "We want to know everything that happened Bella, but before you tell us, we want you to know that Rose and i broke it off with Jasper and Emmett."

My head shot up as she said this "why? why would you do that? they had nothing to do with this" i didn't understand..

Rose and Ali looked at each other before Alice spoke again.."Bella, this has been a long time coming, and we all know night was just the icing on the cake. After the conversation we heard, i doubt we will ever speak to them again".

Rose let out a sad sigh "Alice is right, this has been a long time coming. We have put up with too much from those three boys. They've treated us like shit for over a year now, and i cant believe we just stood by their side and took it"

She was right. Ever since Edward, Jasper, and Emmett made varsity football, and started hanging out with the rest of the guys on team, is when things started going down hill. They started to ignore us, treat us like crap in front of their friends, flirting with other girls, canceling plans, never calling, and so on. For over a year this went on, and still we stayed with them.

We made too many excuses for their behavior, crying to one another at whatever they happened to say or do that day. We had each other to come too, and it helped that we were all going through the same thing. We had no idea what stopped us from breaking up with them, even when we knew we all deserved better.

They used to be so great to us, and when their friends weren't around, they weren't the same asshole's that took advantage of us. They were loving and attentive. They were the same guys we fell in love with freshmen year.I think that's why we stayed with them, we knew who they really were, and we loved them with our whole hearts.

The last few months though, we knew we were hanging on by our last threads. Things were only getting worse, and every time we tried to talk to them about it, they laughed it off saying they had no idea what we were talking about. They break our hearts more everyday, and we were running out of reasons why we loved them. The boyfriends they were when no one else was around, was no longer enough for us. We should never have to settle for only being treated well half the time, and we hated ourselves for settling for so long.

As we sat there thinking about all the stuff they had put us through over the last year i suddenly remembered Rosalie saying something about the conversation they overheard.

"What all did you hear them saying, it must have been bad enough for you two to break up with them" i almost didn't want to hear it.

Alice took over, her tiny face filled with rage "Edward was saying something about you guys having sex...and that's all we heard him say when Emmet said "God, finally" or some shit. Then jasper said something along the lines of me "not giving him some" for a few days, and that he was about ready it get it from skanky Lauren. Emmet laughed and said "No kidding, there's plenty of girls who are willing, that Jessica chick has nice tits.." That's all we heard of the conversation..but it was enough." she sighed again as tears filled her eye's.

"Bella, you probably don't care, but Edward was crying..and very drunk from what we say..he had a hard time even understanding hi-" i stopped her. "Your right Alice i don't care"

Rose continued "We walked over to them, slapped all three of them, told them we were through with all of their bullshit, and left. They didn't even come after us, try to explain or apologize or anything..I hate them for this..i hate them for everything they did to us..but I'm mad at ourselves too. We let them get away with it all, we put up with it, we let them change us..i dont even know who we are anymore." she was sobbing again. We all were.

We sat there holding each other again, i don't know how long we sat there like this, but all of a sudden Alice jumped up, scaring both Rose and I.

"OK! we are ditching school, we will make up whatever we miss on Monday, and were spending the whole weekend together. Were going to the spa today, getting makeovers, and shopping..then the rest of the weekend..we can veg out and and talk and cry..whatever we need too. Come Monday, were going back to school new and better people, we will make those boys regret ever fucking us over. We will act happy and look hot. We will flirt with whoever and whenever we want. Were free, were single, were young, were hot, and goddamn it were going to enjoy life!" she had her hands on her hips and stern look on her face.

" We have this weekend to feel sorry for ourselves, but after this no more! We will not let those assholes make us feel like dirt anymore. We are going to be confident and independent like we used to be. We have each other and that's all we need" Rose and i stood up and hugged each other again when she finished her rant.

"And Bella, you do not get out of telling us what happened missy, you need to talk about it." Rose said.

I sighed, knowing she was right. "Your right, its a long story, but i will give you the short version." We all sat on the floor before i began...


	2. Good riddance

_**The night before, Edward Cullens house.**_

_"I don't understand what your waiting for Bella, we love each other. Were seventeen for Christs Sake's, were supposed to be having sex!"_

_"I'm not ready Edward, and you promised you would never rush me!" i was starting to raise my voice now. "what's changed since you promised me?" I couldn't understand why he was starting to pressure me now. It wasn't like i ever left him unsatisfied. We fooled around a lot, making out and feeling each other up. I even gave him hand jobs, and occasionally oral. _

_"Alice and Rosalie have sex with Jasper and Emmett, i don't know why you act like its such a big deal." _

_"What they do is none of our business Edward, and again, I'm not ready" I turned away from him, trying not to let my tears show._

_"Fine Bella, whatever." Real mature Edward, i thought. He left the room then mumbling about getting back to his party. I sat on the bed a little while longer before getting up. I checked my appearance in the mirror before rejoining the party`. I walked into the kitchen looking for Alice or Rosalie, and found Alice sitting on the counter. She was watching jasper across the room, with sad eyes.I looked over and saw him dancing with some skanky cheerleader. When she saw my face, she handed me the shot of vodka that she was about to just knew._

_Rose joined us a few minutes later, pouring her own shot. We all downed another, cheering to nothing. I looked around to find Edward, but i couldn't find him. I walked around were people were dancing and still nothing. I found him playing cards with Emmett drinking something dark in a clear glass. Tanya, the queen of skanks was sitting next to him, as close as human possible. I walked closer to try and hear what she was saying in his ear, whatever it was, it made him blush. Oh how i hate Tanya. He looked up at me, and then quickly looked away as if i caught him doing something._

_I walked outside feeling sick to my stomach. I sat on the swing Esme set up outside.I loved sitting out here with Edward, but its been so long i don't remember the last time we did._

_I thought about what he said about us having sex, and maybe it was the few shots i had in me, but i was starting to think that maybe it wasn't a big deal. Maybe if we did, he wouldn't be blushing at whatever skanky Tanya was saying. Maybe he wouldn't feel the need to flirt with other girls at school. Maybe he would start treating me more like his girlfriend in front of his stupid friends a school. Maybe he would respect me. In the back of my mind, i knew i wasn't being logical, but before i could listen to my own logic i got up to find Edward._

_He was sitting at the same place i left him, and so was Tanya. I walked to the other side of him and whispered in his ear._

_"Can i talk to you for a minute?" _

_"now? I'm in the middle of a game?" i could smell the alcohol on his breath when he turned to speak to me. I wondered how drunk he was._

_"Please Edward?" he sighed and got up. I took his hand and led him upstairs to his room._

_I shut the door and before he could speak i kissed him. I roamed my hands up his chest, then softly caressing his neck before reaching his beautifully unruly bronze hair. He moaned and wrapped his arms around my waist. I love his hands on me, i loved when he was passionate like this, he felt like my old Edward. _

_I could taste the alcohol, and i remember him stumbling while walking up the stairs but i brushed it aside and deepened our kiss. I sucked on his lower lip and bit on it softly, i could feel him get harder against my stomach. I took a step back and pulled my shirt over my head, silently thanking Alice for buying the lacy black bra and matching thong i was wearing. Edward's eye's grew dark with lust, and it gave me the courage to unzip my jeans and slowly pulled them down. Still Edward said nothing.I watched him pull his shirt over his head and peel off his pants.._

_God he was beautiful...so beautiful.._

_He pulled me toward him to kiss me, a little rougher than i cared for, but i figured it was due to passion. He layed me on the bed and removed my panties. He grabbed a condom from his bed side table. I once asked why he had them there, he just smiled and said " just in case" I let it go. He quickly put it on and positioned himself at me entrance. Before i could protest or reach up for another kiss, he pushed himself inside me. I cried out in pain as i stretched around him. _

_He kissed me then, softly.. "Are you Ok love?" My heart softened at the endearment._

_"I'm fine, i just wasn't..i don't know..it hurt.." He kissed me again. He was still, not moving inside me. I knew he was trying to cause me as little pain a possible. I moved my hips up to meet his, we both ed moaned at the movement. He closed his eyes and begun pumping into me. Again, a little harder than i cared for._

_"Edward, please slow down, it hurts when you go to fast" he kept going at the same pace, and before i could ask again i felt him release inside of me._

_He pulled out and threw the condom in the trash. He seemed in a hurry to pull on his clothes. He never looked at me as he dressed, and he had a unreadable expression on his face._

_I had no idea what to do or say. I got up slowly and walked to the bathroom. I cleaned up as best as i could, and looked at myself in the mirror._

_I didnt expect it to be that way...it felt almost dirty. Rose and Alice never mentioned this part..I felt numb and sick to my stomach. Was he mad at me? why didnt he say anything? or even look at me? _

_I actually dreaded facing him._

_I slowly opened the door and entered his room. He left.. he left me in her, without saying a word. I felt my knees wobble and tears begin to fall..i have to get out of here._

_I quickly got dressed and walked out of his room. I silently prayed no one would see me as i walked down the stairs. I made it out the front door without anyone noticing. I walked passed a couple making out down the steps before i heard a sickly sweet voice call to me_

_"Hi Bella" i looked over at Tayna and frowned at her, that's when i noticed Edward. Oh GOD..THEY were the couple making out..i gasped and turned to look at him._

_His eye's grew wide before he slurred "Love, its not what it looks like! Tanya kissed me" he stumbled as he tried to reach out to me. Oh god.._

_"How could you do this to me Edward? how could you do everything you've done to me? i loved you! I've been patient and understanding for too long, hoping you would change, but you never will! I put up with too much.. all for you!" i was sobbing by this point, and i knew i was making a bit of a scene, but i no longer cared._

_"I'm done Edward, i'm not doing this anymore.. I will never forgive you for the events that took place tonight.. please don't call me, or text, or show up at my door. I will not forgive you this time. I thought..i don't know.." i turned away trying to focus on all the things i wanted to say to him._

_"Bella, love, you don't mean this..lets just go up to my room to talk. I'm so sorry for ever-" I stopped him before he continued. _

_"No Edward, you have fucked up too many times, i deserve better" _

_I turned and ran from him, i didn't stop until i reached my house ten minutes later._


	3. Remember to breath

**I own nothing!  
**

When i finished telling them what happened, we were all in tears again.

"I'm so sorry Bella, i cant believe him.." Rose put her arms around me again.

Alice walked over to the bags she brought over. She took out three tall cups of coffee and handed one to Rose and I.

"Whats in the rest of the bags?" i asked, not really that interested.

"Reinforcements" she let out a small laugh before dumping the contents on my bed. Bags of chocolate, cookies, gummy worms, popcorn, and chips were in one pile. The other was about five or six "chick flicks".

"This is for tomorrow and Sunday" Rose said. "Right now were going to the spa, and after, were shopping"

I hated shopping. Especially with Rose and Alice, but i knew we all needed this, so i didn't argue. Alice and Rose brought over a change of clothes they would change into after the spa, so i put a change in a small tote bag and we all headed to Rose's car.

The whole spa experience was more than relaxing. I fell asleep during my massage, and felt a little more rested. We all had pedicures and manicures, waxing, facials, and had our hair done. Well, i had my hair done. Alice and Rosalie's hair was all ready perfect, so they just had it washed and styled. My hair was trimmed a few inches, layered a bit, and highlighted a pretty auburn. I had to admit i loved it, i actually felt pretty.

The mall was a few blocks away, and by the time we made it there it was lunch. We were all starving, so we made our way to the food court. We got a little something for everywhere and sat down. We talked a bit while we ate, but kept the conversation light. We didn't want to start breaking down in public places..it just wasn't our style.

We spent about six hours shopping. I was forced into a dressing room at almost every clothing store in the entire mall. I had a blast though, surprisingly. It was nice to forget about everything but us, for once. We laughed a bit, danced around in the clothes we tried on, "yes'd and no'd" and different outfits or accessories. By the time we walked back to the car i had three new pairs of jeans that hugged my body nicely..too nice for my usual taste in fact, but i loved them. Five new blouses, four new pairs of shoes, two really cute casual dresses, and one not so casual little black dress.

Alice forced me to get a pair of black strappy heels that went great with a pair of my new jeans. I argued how i would fall on my face and be humiliated, but she laughed it off saying " Your not nearly as clumsy as you used to be" she was right, i wasn't, but i still had the occasional clumsy episode. I ended up getting them though, if i was going to be a new person, i could start off by dressing like one.

We stopped by Rosalie's house to get a few things she needed. Alice and i stayed in the car, she didn't want to see Jasper. Rose came out a few minutes later and then headed To Alice' went back to my house when Alice got what she needed. We decided to have our weekend here because we didn't want to chance seeing jasper at Rose's or Emmett and Edward at Alice's.

The rest of the weekend was exactly what we needed. We turned our phones off and left them off the whole weekend. We talked for hours on end about everything. When we were sick of talking about the boys, we talked about everything else. We were surprised to realize that we had been too consumed with our boyfriends over the last year, that we had barely talked to each other about anything else. So we spent most of Sunday talking about the colleges we applied too and which ones we were considering the most.

Rosalie, Alice and I had all been accepted to Washington state University, but it was not our first choice. Along with Washington state, we had been accepted to 14 schools between the three of far i was accepted to Brown, Stanford, Arizona state,The University of Chicago, and University of California, Berkeley.

While i leaned towards Stanford, Alice and Rose had were leaning towards University of California. They had both been accepted as well. We hated to be far from home, but that fact would not be a huge part in our decision. We also didn't like the possibility of the three of going to different colleges.

We only had one two months left of high school, so we knew we had to make our decisions soon. We agreed to do our pro's and con's list together and then we would choose. My main concerns were tuition, but i knew in the end i would be paying back student loans long after i graduated. Rose and Alice's family were very well off, so money issues were no worry for them.

I thought about Edwards college plans, I wasn't sure where he planned to go. He had not made a decision yet either. We applied at almost all the same colleges, and he made great grades as i did. I dreaded the possibility of us ending up at the same school. I didn't want to think about that, i didnt even know if i could face Monday at school.

The last few hours before bed, we decided to have our final cry session. We all decided we couldn't let them effect our lives we cried for lost love, wasted time, and wasted emotions. We cried for every time we waited up for their calls, or waited around in case they came by. We cried for every time they ignored us when their friends were around, and every time they ditched us for them. We cried for every time they checked out another girls ass, and every time they laughed at us for being angry or hurt by it. We cried for every excuse we made for them and We cried for every little piece of our self respect we lost due to those excuses. We cried for every empty promise they made and every time they let us down.

What the hurt the most was not understanding why they couldn't just be the men we knew they really were. The men who bought us flowers and planned romantic dates. The men who kissed us sweetly for no reason. The men who held us when we cried or were scared. The men we fell in love with, before they developed multiple personality disorders.

We cried our last tears for them as we thought about the men they really were. Their true selves they hid well from everyone but us.


	4. Losing Grip

Monday morning came all too soon.

I woke up to Alice moving around in my room, so i decided to get up before she started jumping on my bed.

"Good morning sunshine, go get in the shower!" she said. She even more chipper than usual. I turned to look at the clock on the table next to my bed.

_Oh good lord.."A_lice, its not even seven yet. School doesn't even start until almost nine, go back to bed"

Rose was awake now, attempting to throw a pillow at Alice.

She dodged before saying "If were going to look our hottest today, we need to start now" she sang. She plugged in a straighter and a curling iron before dumping loads of cosmetics i didn't recognize on my desk. She looked through our shopping bags picking out each of our outfits for the days, and then making her way to the pile of new shoes.

I knew there was no point in arguing so i got up to take a shower. It took a quick one so there would be enough hot water for Rose, Alice of course had already taken one. She was definitely the morning person in the group. After i washed out my favorite strawberry shampoo and finished rinsing off my lavender body wash, i got out and wrapped a robe around me before heading back to my room.

Rose walked by me to the bathroom, still grumpy from being woken up. Alice sat me down in my desk chair and brushed out my hair.

"Soo..when do you think we should we should turn our cells on?" she asked in a nervous thought about changing our phone numbers over the weekend, but decided against it. We would just delete all the voice mails and texts we knew were piled in our phones, and then leave them on silent at school.

'' I guess now is as good as time as any" and it was. We waited until Rose got out of the shower.

Each of voice mails were completely full. We deleted each message without even the slightest temptation to hear them.

An hour later my hair was blown dried, straightened and curled at the ends. I loved the way it looked, especially the new highlights. I wore my new pair of dark denim skinny jeans. A white fitted blouse that came off my shoulders and fit tight around my stomach, exposing a thin line of skin where my jeans stopped around my lower hips. It did amazing things for my boobs. The neckline was low enough to show cleavage from my full c cup. I also grudgingly slipped into my new heels. With my smoky eyes that weren't too dramatic, and my outlined and glossed lips, i felt beautiful.

"You look so hot Bells!" Rose said. Her and Alice were also were skinny jeans and blouses, and both looked more beautiful than normal, but for once i didn't feel out of place by there side.

I blushed at her words as Alice handed us our book bags before grabbing her own.

"You girls ready to make those boys regret ever loosing us?" We both smiled and nodded at her. We all piled in Rose's car and headed off to school. We didn't speak the whole way there, we were even too nervous to listen to the radio. When we pulled into the school parking lot, Rose parked in the furthest space from the school. We sat there for a minute before Rose spoke.

"Ok, we can do this. We walk into school together, walk straight to out lockers, drop off our stuff and head to home room." her voice was shaky as we spoke.

It didnt sound so hard, but we all knew it would be.

"Remember the plan, act as if nothing affects us and put on huge smile. If and when the boys speak to us, we will be polite and respond and then walk away" Alice also spoke with a shaky voice. We squeezed each others hands before getting out of the car. We looked each other over for anything out of place, linked arms and began walking towards the school entrance. We walked slow and steady, swaying our hips a bit as Rose instructed us.

I noticed Edwards Volvo out of the corner of my eye, but i quickly looked away when i spotted Edward leaning against it. Emmett and jasper were next to him. We made it inside the school without them attempting to approach us. When we made it to our lockers we all let out a small sigh of relief.

"I will be so glad when this day is over" i said as i opened my locker. I froze when i saw what was inside. A bouquet of different flowers, all with a different meaning.

A few white tulips, forgiveness. four white and red rose's, passionate love and unity, and lilac, first love. Rose and Alice had the same one's. I was the first too take them out and throw them in the trash can next too my locker. My best friends soon followed. They had never done this before, at least not in the last year. Putting flowers in our locker was not like them at all, they hardly even looked our way while at school. Sure, everyone knew we were their girlfriends, they made sure of that, but i knew it was because they didn't want anyone else trying to flirt with us.

Alice looked down at the flowers again and said " They must know they really fucked up this time"

Rosalie looked at us before saying " It doesnt change a thing. So they bought us flowers? It doesnt even begin to make up for anything" I knew she was right, but i couldnt help thinking maybe things would really change now. Maybe they realize what hey have been putting us through..

Then everything they had done quickly came flooding back when Tanya walked my with a smile on her face.

"Hey there Bella, its sooo good to see you" she chuckled. "You look almost pretty today, were you hoping to get Edward back-" she was caught off by rose pushing her into a locker.

"Say one more word to Bella and you will seriously regret it. In fact if you even so much as look at her, i will break you fake nose, you skeevy bitch" She let go of Tanya and smiled down at her. Alice obviously felt like it was an appropriate time to mock her "Bye Tanya, it was soooo good to see you" she said, before Tanya almost tripped trying to get away from Rose.

I laughed to myself and hugged my best friends. I felt a bit sorry for Tanya though, you most certainly do not want to mess with Rosalie. Or the evil little pixie. For being the most beautiful girls i know, they were also the toughest.

We all had homeroom together, the boys included. We didn't want to arrive before they did so went to the ladies room to stall for some time. When the bell rang a few minutes later we made our way to our class squeezed each others hand once more for support before walking in.

The were all sitting at different tables, an empty chair next to each of them. The obviously intended for us to sit next to them._No way in hell. _Obviously Rose and Alice were thinking the same thing. Alice led us to an empty table in front and Rose grabbed an empty chair for herself before we all sat down.

I caught a glance at Edward before i turned my head to the front of the class room. He stared at me intently with a hurt look on his face. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in days. His hair was even more unruly than usual and looked unwashed. He had dark circles under his eyes and they looked swollen, Jasper and Emmett looked just as bad.

_Serves you right Assholes, you cant possibly be feeling as bad as we are. Were just hiding it better. _

We spent the rest of the period starting our pro's and cons list for colleges. By the time the bell rang we felt like we were one step closer to making our decision. We also realized that we were so busy with out list we didn't once think about the guys. It felt unbelievably nice to have a break from thinking about them for once.

We didnt share anymore classes and i was terrified not to have their support. Suddenly lunch felt so far away. Especially since i shared calculus,advanced chemistry, and English with Edward. Gym, i had with Jasper and Emmett.

The guys stood by the door waiting for us. Here we go.. i knew we were actually going to have to talk to them. S_TICK WITH THE PLAN BELLA!_

As i tried to walk through the class room door Edward blocked the way with his arm. I looked up at his face, and saw pure misery in his eyes. _Focus Bella.._

"Isabella, your going to have to talk to me eventually. Please let me explain, let me apologize. Im so sorry for everything." did he not notice the people around us? He must not have, because the Edward Cullen i knew would not publicly display such vulnerability.

I took a second to glance at Rose and Alice with Jasper and Emmett. Rose stood against the wall while Emmett stood there trying to apologize. She pretended to be very concerned with her nails. Alice took a different approach, she stood there with a sweet smile on her face. I decided with to go with the pixies approach.

I put on my best fake smile and turned back to Edward. "Edward, no need to apologize. Ive already heard it, countless of times in fact. As for talking to you, im a little to old to play the silent game" His jaw dropped at my words. I knew he wasn't expecting this. He continued with the apology i didn't want to hear.

"I've missed you so much love, I've tried to get a hold of you the whole weekend. I couldn't sleep knowing you didnt want to be with me anymore.." He looked down at his hands, i knew his eye's were tearing up. I felt the need to hug him, to protect him from the all to familiar pain he was feeling. I quickly brushed the urge aside remembering all the tears he's caused me.

" You have to know how truly sorry i am. I will change, i promise Bella. I will do anything to keep you, fuck everyone else. Im so sor-" i cut him off. I couldnt hear this anymore.

"Edward, im sorry but its too late. You have hurt me too many times, and i dont want to be the girl I've become by forgiving you every time." I meant everything i said Thursday night. I'm sorry for your pain, but once again you have overlooked mine. I'm moving on, and you should too. I will see you in class" and with that i walked to English.

I got to class before anyone else and made my way to the back of the class. It wasn't my usual seat, but i didn't want to sit next to him. Thankfully no one gave me crap about my new seating arrangement. I sat there the whole period thinking about what i said to Edward. He looked so heartbroken at my words.

_Did i really mean them? Did i really want to move on? Did i want him to move on? _

I knew it would be a long time before i could have another relationship, but just how long would he wait? I looked up to catch Edward staring at me a few times. Evey time i quickly looked away. It hurt so much.I wanted to hold him and kiss him. I didnt want to ever let him go..

_You have to, Bella..._


End file.
